Home / What we do
REAL ConversationsThe conversations
others avoid
How do you talk, in a way that works, about something that isn't working? REAL Conversations is the Saltoz method for the conversations that matter: feedback, conflict, expectations that go unmet, and the talks everyone keeps postponing.
What is REAL Conversations?
REAL Conversations is the method Iffat Bar-Kol Grecht developed for the conversations people tend to avoid: feedback, hard conversations and interfaces.
It rests on three conversation modes: MUTE — you keep the peace and give up the truth; SHOOT — you tell the truth and give up the relationship; REAL — the third mode, a conversation that is authentic and safe at once, and deals with what is really behind things.
The method is taught in Saltoz workshops for leadership teams, managers and teams, and is built into longer leadership development processes.
The conversation you
don't have doesn't go away
Almost every conversation that doesn't happen has a good excuse. Each one sounds reasonable in the moment — and each one is another deposit into the volcano.
- “It's behind us now.”
- “I'll wait until the pressure passes.”
- “I'm waiting for the right moment.”
- “It won't help anyway.”
- “I don't want to break the harmony.”
- “If it happens again, I'll say something.”
We behave as if there are only two options — MUTE or SHOOT. In MUTE we stay silent to protect the relationship. In SHOOT we say the true thing in a way that damages it. REAL is the third mode: you say the true thing, in a way that strengthens the relationship.
You keep the peace — and give up the truth. What goes unsaid does not disappear: it goes into the volcano, and erupts sooner than you expect.
You tell the truth — and give up the relationship. The message may land, but trust erodes.
Authentic and safe at once. A conversation that deals with what is really behind things — and moves both the relationship and the work forward.
The discomfort
belongs in the room
This workshop is for managers who lead people and treat feedback as everyday language, not a once-a-year event.
Nobody learns this from a slide. Participants practice on their own live cases in simulation, where participants can try, learn and prepare for the conversations they need to have at work.
- 1
A shared language
Understanding Mute, Shoot and REAL — and spotting which of them each of us falls into by default.
- 2
Simulation
Practising on the participants' own live cases, in a setting where getting it wrong costs nothing.
- 3
Tools for the work
Leaving with practical tools for the next conversation — usable as early as tomorrow morning.
“Learned tons about authenticity and vulnerability in building and maintaining relationships. I've already started applying the tips this morning!”
“Her session provided profound insights into enhancing communication in both business and personal spheres.”